Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
