i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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