Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
