I wish i was in the wii world.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
