so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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