I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
