It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
