Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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