Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
