I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
