It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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