yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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