At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
