you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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