Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
