My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
