I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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