Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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