you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize