I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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