If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
