Where are you?
In a non slutty way
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
