Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
