you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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