I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
