You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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