i may or may not be watching the land before time
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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