these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
