I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
