I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
