Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize