She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How naked do you want me to be?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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