That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
