I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
