someone threw a dead crab at me
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
