you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
