I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
