why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
