What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
