Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
