I heard we made out
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
