Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
if i can run in heels then i can drive
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I checked into jail on foursquare
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
