I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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