So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
