So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
