A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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