It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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