I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize