So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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