hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
