I seem to have left my pride at pride
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There r osticjed everywhere
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
