Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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