you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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