Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
