I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
