Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
