How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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