so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
