the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
