Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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