yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
