she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
