mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
