i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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