oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
