walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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