So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
And then the night went full on bisexual.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
