I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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