Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize