Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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