dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
