this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
