it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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